First of many, one can hope.

So I decided to start a blog because a friend told me that I should write a book. That being arrogantly said, I just don't have the patience or the spare brain cells to lend to a project like that. A blog, however, sounded just wonderful. Just thoughts, no 500 page commitments, no one breathing down my neck about deadlines, or telling me, "You can't actually SAY that to people!"

So here is topic number one...

Crap that happened in 2009 that no ones seems to care about anymore:

1.) Britney Spears named celebrity of the decade.-courtesy foxnews.com
(Seriously? The woman who shaved her head, whose weight fluctuates 20 lbs daily, who screamed about flashing her girly bits onstage in front of thousands represents the good life in America...we are so proud!)

2.) Peanuts Can Kill
(a salmonella outbreak made us all afraid of scarfing PB&J's for lunch for fear of blowing chunks for days on end, not to mention the spine wracking chills and diarrhea-thanks for that)

3.) Pirates are not really Johnny Depp Cool.
( Actual pirates have entered our lives in the form of nautical Somalian terrorists...like we don't have enough oil problems at the moment)

4.) Octomom
(If you don't know about this one then crawl out from under your rock one time. That being said, no one cares about her anymore. We have all accepted that fact that she will mooch off our tax dollars until her young are raised and we have now moved on)*
5.) Chris Brown turns out to be future wife beater.
( And no one was really that shocked. As a result he'll never do business in any town ever again...lets all take a minute to grieve...or not)

6.)Cherrios don't lower cholesterol.
(or help with heart disease...oops.)

7.) Susan Boyle
( wanted fame and fortune-got it and had a break down.)

8.) Usama bin Laden spit out another hate video
( ok, he's been on dialysis for how many years now? someone tell me the bastard didn't record like 26 of these tapes back in 2002 and then dropped dead)

9.) Balloon Boy
( what did his parents expect out of that? I felt bad for the kid. Not the kid's fault his dad stuffed him in the attic or whatever and called 911. Not to mention the kid outed his dad. He responded to the question," Why were you hiding?" by turning to his dad and saying, "You guys said that, um, we did this for the show." That nickname will follow him forever. Let us hope his father gets a few prison tats to remember the occasion by)

10.) Swine Flu
( let's call it what it is, shall we? H1N1 just sounds like a math equation from junior high. Luckily we appear to be on the down hill slide from the epidemic that sickened thousands)

11.) Couple infiltrates State Dinner at the White House
( please tell me that the people in charge of security for that party have no input in Homeland Security for this country, I shudder to think...oh and as a side note, the Secret Service figured it out THE NEXT DAY!)

12.) Michael Jackson Died
( the only thing I will say is this: the man had free will. The doctor wasn't force feeding him drugs. Jackson asked for all the junk he was on and the only illegal actions the doctor performed were passing the stuff on. Giving out anesthesia meds for home use is, of course, illegal, but Jackson asked for them. Negligence I could buy-murder I cannot. Jackson was a man, and far from a saint.)

These are just some of the things that happened this year, many I left out because they mattered. There are still American boys overseas, there are still massive economic problems worldwide, and we all still appear to be frogs boiling in a pot. Its time to wake up and re-examine our priorities.

What are yours?


*octomom photo courtesy TMZ